Perspective

This week in my Artsy life I have accomplished just a few more things: which I have a feeling this is just going to be how it goes as a lifestyle. A semi complete over haul of my website happened near the time of my last blog post. Some intense organization happened concerning the Art files on my computer (still happening), as well as the little Art drop I did with an old friend. Lastly the upload of one design on to real life products. All of these things make it a more serious pursuit. The organization, editing and up keep of all these different aspects in respect to doing something real with my Art is what makes it real and a bit intimidating.

Though I knew it was an involved path since right before graduating from OSU the courses became more serious and pertinent to real life. They were all about selling work, presenting, doing taxes, email lists, and art updates. All this was coming at a time when I wasn't ready for it yet but I knew it would be there later. Later being now, so here is where I can track the work and stay encouraged because it is ongoing, I am always getting better at it and finding the passion that keeps me invested.

I"m realizing it and trying to go for it in every realm I can conceive of. During any time at day jobs I am miserable like I've somehow landed myself in the third level of hell. It is in those tough moments that me kicking myself has lead to these big pushes during my off times. If I want my life to look different over all, then so many things need to change. First is the attitude. I realize in moments I've had issues with that my entire life. Though it takes self efficacy to form at more robust levels, in order to ultimately beat anxiety and depression which have had their affects... Goals and projects are what keeps my mind too busy to think about where I'm not, who I'm not, or the things I don't have. In so I work and act like the person I want to be. (The actual self approaching the ideal self: it's a real thing and usually produces a state of equilibrium.;)

Even my home is starting to look different. In ways I had to accept where I was and make it a place where I wanted to be. If I receive it, then would be better able to move past it. Materialist ideals are something I've fought against since ending my travels last year. The thought of just getting more stuff seemed so unnecessary with my perspective of the world and the greater needs within it. Though from times of visiting friends it made me realize I can have better still and don't have to settle for the minimum. The things I have need to last and create a welcoming space for others as well.

So with this new appreciation for my living space the state of mental chaos can stay on the canvas. Recently my house has become a labor of love. The effort I am investing is something I don't see others wanting for the space. It's just one more personal exercise of changing life in every direction and I have a feeling that shortly after it's completion it will be time to move on. So this is living, striving and most of all accepting.